My bones rattle with anger, the flesh shaken from its hold on my skeleton. Little Girl Blues plays in the background, green tea replaces my coffee as I stare  at my half beers from the night before. I try but all I see is a black wall before me.

My world thrown and knocked about kicked like a toy ball. The strange metallic sound of an air filled plastic ball being struck rings in my child like mind. Words so deep  and acidic they burn my gut as they flow hot past trembling harsh sentences.

Scar tissue so thick it will never heal and will only leave me marked. Another battle  wound this one hidden in my mind but seen in my eyes, posture and in my thoughts. Self-serving sorry baby food thoughts that leave me functioning only on the surface of my former self.

Looking though clouded small rippled square glass I want to kick myself in the ass but I can’t find the energy.

Sell off my former life like some cheap item, pack a bag ans say fuck it all is what I like to do but I can’t, I won’t.

I can hear my buddy screaming out “I am a Brave Heart” as the darkness is erased by the walking light after a matinee. Kill her with kindness is repeated but not put into practice. The Strength of the word freedom quarters me leaving a part of my heart in every corner of her former kingdom.

I watch from a distance through monsters eyes formed into slits by heavy swollen bags. My cock feels smaller in my hand, my brain functions like a HDTV stuck on maximum volume with no cable or even rabbit ears. The snow screams over images.

Anger rules me. The instinct for survival has tucked my cock even close to my heart away from possible  harm, wanting to be at least that 1% that doesn’t have burns as this fire rages

I have backed off my own mind, its thoughts and can only think of what she is thinking. I can”t get past her and I don’t have far to go. I know I should

For now I am lost trying to find the way back, maybe even hoping this is all an nightmare

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