It’s time for that weekly fun known as Friday Fictioneers or as I call it 100 word Friday…All stories can be found here.  Thanks Rochelle for hosting.

 

Copyright-Renee Homan Heath

The sky’s thirst robbed the sea of her water.  Gray-blue haze covered the horizon, mixing sea and air.  The day inhaled the endless ocean.  In the distance sky and water were one.  Up close the air was layered, heavy on the chest and thick on the brow.  The sea rippled by winds out of the southeast.  Scarce light danced bright in diamond shapes across her surface.   Lapping waves on sugar sand lulled me to sleep by the palm tree.  The shade, the cerveza, her hips and knowing it would all soon change.  The relationship formed by the approaching storm clouds.

47 thoughts on “The Honeymoon

  1. Tom, you did a masterful job showing the upcoming storm in their relationship. But I don’t want to let you get away without correction or suggestion two weeks in a row or you might feel negelected, so…in the last sentence, I would use “formed” instead of “forming” to keep the tense and sense the same. Feel better now? 🙂

    janet

    1. Rich,
      I am not sure if anything I write is intentional. It just sort of happens. I think when I deal with nature I have a tendency to form similarities of sound, so say I. Alliteration that comical word.. I was close to turning it into a poem but I was too lazy to think it through. And yes, Bring on the HIPS!
      Tom

  2. “In the distance sky and water were one. Up close the air was layered, heavy on the chest and thick on the brow.”
    There has been something taken away. Lost. What it may be, positive or negative, I am unsure. And something else will come to be taken. There is a stark contrast between the emotions of the character and nature itself. Classic symbolism and foreshadowing, and you lulled me into a disquieted peace with the moments of purple prose. I feel the haze on my arm hairs…that good.

  3. Hello there fellow FF

    In the distance sky and water were one. Up close the air was layered, heavy on the chest and thick on the brow. I like this. It’s suggesting to me that what was concord has become discord. Is this what you intended, I wonder? Regardless, I will steal this (way of writing) not plagiarise you story!

    1. So you’re going to steal my style…..Hmmmmm. Nice compliment! Was I trying to show that from a distance they appeared as one but up close it was more complicated and out of “harmony”?…sort of,yes. The idea being that in spite of what appears to be a glorious day the heat is unbearable. What started out hot has become thick with complications, clouding the sky, both the water and sky are becoming one, forming humidity and in time storm clouds. The imagery stolen from nature itself. The idea being that all is not what it seems unless we look at it close. I am not so sure they are out of harmony but they are two instruments playing the same song. There is separation but yet they are one…kinda like those rainbow cookies..because of this separation is there possible discord?…yes. A storm or fight is brewing for sure and they are feeding off one another. I hope that helps.

      Tom

    2. Ann,
      I think what I was trying to say is they have not reached the point of martial discord and they are in fact two instruments playing in the same band at this point…Looking further down the line there is foreshadowing that would indicate their music will one day turn into noise.

      Tom

  4. Hi Tom,
    Very poetic, or should I say Poetic. When writing has this much style, you don’t need much of a plotline to carry it. Like the metaphor of the approaching storm. So much good stuff concentrated here. Ron

  5. those storm clouds…one never knows when they may appear! never fear…the sun always manages to reappear…haha. enjoyed your story. 🙂

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