Thanks Rochelle for hosting. Links can found here. 100 word story written under the influence of strong beer at 2 something in the morning…hangover cut short by an early A.M. rise..could still be drunk! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Got caught up this week with the court case and all. It never ends.
Dripped the minutes away
over a world class beer.
The suds, the foam
I forgot to reach.
I was busy putting the suit on
playing the game.
Forgot to warn you
I’m toxic
and only two words over half way there.
Bring on the holiday, bring on the love
cause my heart is big, red and independent.
Not bleeding
barely off center of right.
Dead center from the left.
Chocolates and Cupid
I want to sling love at you
But
I only have so many arrows.
Dear Tom,
I’ve never had anyone sling love at me before. In any case I like your poem. “Big, red, and independent”..very much you, I think. I can hear your voice in it…nice.
One suggestion: “I was busy putting the suit on”…might read better as “I was busy putting on the suit.” (leaving no participles dangling.)
Happy Valentines Day,
Rochelle
Rochelle,
I realized at about 2:15 in the morning that the prompt was up..I forgot all about it this week. So under the heavy influence of alcohol I wrote this poem. I think what I am trying to say about slinging love is that I can’t do it, I would like to but I can’t. I like the suit line just the way it is…Thanks.
Tom
On another note Rochelle so this seems a little clearer, this last week I have been playing the part of a server as well as helping someone through some litigation procedures …This guy gonna reminds me of a lawyer.
Tom
Happy Valentine’s Day! 🙂
And Happy Valentines to you to good looking.
a very nice poem, which speaks in so many ways..liked the last line, ‘But
I only have so many arrows..’
Thanks each word an arrow, you only get 100.
Tom – I do like your poetry and I love the way you have woven Valentine’s Day into this weeks prompt. I liked the line ” busy putting the suit on, playing the game”
We all play the game one way or another
Well done
Dee
Thanks Dee,
We all do play the game one way or another…this week I have worn so many suits you wouldn’t know me from one day to the next.
Tom
I especially like the title. Would anyone fall for this? I’m wondering 😉
It’s not a poem about falling in love or being in love. It’s a poem about reaching, so as a love poem I would hope not.
Tom
Tom, I sensed frustration at so many different things in your poem. Don’t forget to reach, even when it’s difficult and as for slinging love, give it your best shot! My favorite lines: “Dripped the minutes away over a world class beer….my heart is big, red and independent…I only have so many arrows.” We do only have so many arrows, so I guess we need to pick our targets carefully.
I hope your Valentine’s Day is much happier than your week has been!!
jaent
Wow, I mis-typed my name!! Not such a good start. 🙂
janet
LOL…little spell check there…
Jaent,
Sometimes you want to sling stones instead….frustrated with some low life people and having to jump through hoops just to get them to do what they should do in the first place. As soon as I looked at the statue I started writing, mixing all the images racing through my head. I was going for an image of being confined by things beyond our control and reaching for something that you may never get to..or it feels that way at least.
Tom
It seems to be written from the perspective of someone somewhat tired of love and all the trappings of romance. Lines like “Bring on the holiday, bring on the love” give me that impression, as if they’re followed by a sigh. I could be off though.
You know David I can see your point…But I was saying those line in defiance of the assholes we are sometimes forced to deal with..sort of like bring on some love cause I have had enough of this crap already. Poem has a whole new meaning sober the next day.LOL I had to read it myself this morning to make sense of it.
Tom
You know David I read this a few more times and I think you have a better grip on this poem than I do…It sure does give you that feeling. I guess sometimes the words speak to the writer…
Love it! (That is the appropriate comment for this day, isn’t it?)
No matter; love it!
I think it is Dawn. Thanks so much!
Tom
Put some music to this and you’re away… 🙂 Nice abstract piece Tom, I wish the influence of alcohol rendered me poetic. Sadly it’s usually senseless. Well done.
I was feeling a little abstract last night. Thanks Sandra!
Man, that was nice, Tom.
Ted,
I am glad you liked it man.
Tom
“…my heart is big, red and independent.
Not bleeding
barely off center of right.
Dead center from the left.”
Interesting–for someone who was “under the influence” when writing, you’ve done a masterful job.
Vb,
A good beer can do wonders. Thank you for the kind words.
Tom
Hey Tom PPPP how you be! Interesting take on the picture my friend. For some reason I heard a bit of anger, frustration and I don’t know, something else in there. Am I nuts? Maybe I need a beer.
Jackie PPP,
You are not nuts at least as far as I know. I was attempting to weave love and hate with frustration and reaching for something just out of reach. Well I think we can all use a good beer every once and awhile.
Tom
so then I was right. how unusual of me. haha! kidding. save some of that beer for later. 😉
seriously though what you wanted to show, showed, the emotions I mean. so hell even wasted you are good. not all of us can say that.
Jackie PPPP,
Very mind of you to say….I was pretty hammered.
LOL
Tom
one of my favorites this week. “barely off center of right.
Dead center from the left.” –love this
Thanks…that line seems to have struck a chord with a some of the readers. Poetry is open to interpretation and I am curious what the line says to you? I was trying to say I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal…Not far from the right politically and dead center socially from the the left….A mix of both conservative views and liberal views… Thanks for the fine comment.
Tom
This is really good!
Deana,
Thank you very much.
Tom
Really liked the last three lines.
Thanks.
Tom
Wasn’t that how Facebook was created? 🙂
This was meant to respond to VB 🙂
And a whole lot of babies…
LOLL!
That too!
I loved the line: Forgot to warn you / I’m toxic. So powerful.
Thank you
Tom
I like this … and only two words over half way there
It’s a bit like a cryptic crossword, your poem. I am guessing that the third word would be ‘you’. Does it fit into the white squares? I am wondering.
You write that you forgot to reach but you reach at several points and in various ways. In the shape of the poem – some lines long, some short, one at least of only one word. The shape reaches and retracts. Like a straggly wave coming and going from a seashore. I definitely get that it is wet. Like your beer. And foamy and sudsy. Not bubbly, like my champagne. I don’t drink beah! Beah is for boys! And the big red sun.
Thank you for this very entertaining and different take on the photo. I can’t drink and work! I can drink and steal and will steal all your ideas. Ann
Ann,
I believe it fits in…I think the whole poem is reaching but at the same time it is frozen, a snap shot. When I say I forgot to reach I am talking of my attempt this week at the 100 word prompt and my point in the moment…I do not say I am not reaching just that I didn’t reach, for a moment, at the spot when the wave must retract. You point out where I separate myself from the body and go back to the title attempting to weave in the goal I have not fully grasped, the reaching. I was attempting to catch the fluid lines of the statue and it’s frozen moment of movement in not just words but by my own actions.
Tom
You can steal all you want but I would say you need a qualified alcoholic judge to decide if you can drink? I’m always around.
Tom
I loved this -especially the last line. Brilliant writing.
Thank you so much.
Tom
I was going to highlight my favorite part here, but quickly realized that I would simply be copy/pasting the poem in it’s entirety =) Nicely done!
Hey t,
What a nice thing to say. Glad you enjoyed it.
Tom
I enjoyed the way you wrote this. I love good poetry. This metered out the moments perfectly.
k,
Thanks for noticing and for the kind words.
Tom
K…I couldn’t comment on your page so I will do it here…
Very cool K,
I have always felt math and writing are very much the same thing…But that’s just me, right? Nice work, cool concept…Enjoyed this!
Tom
I love this, and very different from a lot of other Valentine’s stories I might see.
Bjorn,
Thanks glad it was a little different.
Tom
I can’t tell enough how much I loved this. Rendition of a very free spirited man. I have nothing but respect and admiration for such a bold and raw piece.
Superb!
Parul,
I never have been one to follow the rules. Thanks so much for taking to the time out to read and for your fine comment. It means a lot to me.
Tom
excellent Tom!
Wow..Thanks Bill.
Tom
this could be the lyrics to song you know..:)
I want to sling love at you But I only have so many arrows. – love that line there 🙂
Kz,
I am glad it sounds like lyrics to a song…That’s a fine thing to say.
Tom
sorry to hear about those struggles. oddly enough i am about to answer some court papers as well. my ex-wife stalks my blog and occasionally can’t tell fact from fiction so quickly sends her lawyer after me. ugh. hope you’re feeling better.
Well thank god this is not an ex wife thing…I hope that works out well for you and the ex backs off soon enough. Feeling a little better today. I came down with a nasty chest cold on Friday night. Spent since then sweating it out under the covers.
a few things: “I was busy putting the suit on”
consider changing this to “suiting up.” it works literally for the suit but there’s also the sports connection to “playing the game” and being ready to fight it out, like in football.
also, instead of “sling love,” i’m thinking more of “fire love” because i think that’s what you do with arrows. i think to “sling” is like to throw something with sort of a slingshot kind of thing. so maybe “fire” or “shoot” instead.
Rich,
This is much better…a little feedback. Well I am not sure I like the idea of suiting up, all though I will think about that and get back to you on it. I see this more as “lawyer-ing up” and wearing the monkey suit. I will think about “suiting up” or something else just not sure if I want to change anything…Oddly I like sling…fire love doesn’t work for me…shoot doesn’t either. If i can come up with something better for sling I will but I already thought about fire and shoot but both don’t work for me. Thanks for the feedback this helps a bit.
Tom
Sling sounds more like mud….I kinda like the sound of it. Think I will stick with sling.