The Wedding Guests

OK after banging out a quick story and posting it, I deleted it and banged out another quick story….I missed the mark with the first one.  Hopefully this is a little better…



The morning after a bad decision they stared out the window of the White Birch Cafe.  Billy poured sugar into his coffee mug until the pile was several inches high.  Janis covered her eggs in salt.  Unable to make eye contact they both diverted their eyes from each other’s gaze.  The silence broke by the sound of Billy’s spoon hitting the side of his mug.  Janis finally looked at him.

“You know I am not normally like that” she whispered.

“It’s Ok” his voice trailing off.

“You don’t sound OK”.

“You had to say Good luck?  You couldn’t congratulate them?”



50 thoughts on “The Wedding Guests

    1. Rochelle,
      I posted one before this and deleted it. This is more in line with what I was trying to get at but for some reason it feels kinda flat to me. Thanks for the kind words.


    1. Janet,
      Thanks. Very nice of you to say. They both feel lacking to me. Could be my state of mind or whatever…Not down or anything just feel like this story is “an egg without salt”. Perhaps its the weather or cause I am back in school and my mind is else where..not really sure. But thank you for reading both.


  1. I liked the concept behind the first one I read yesterday, but you’re right, it just didn’t seem to come off quite right despite some very funny terminology re having eggs with your salt etc. Both pieces reflect underlying conflict in a commendable way. Nice work and congrats on managing to produce two, something that rarely happens for me.

    1. Sandra,
      I’m glad you picked up on the first one not having the right feel and for being truthful about it to me. Thanks for the encouragement. I really enjoyed yours.

  2. Dear Tom,

    You found the right words to outline the tension that exists between couples when one has said the wrong thing and embarrased the other. The mystery you left behind is niggling away at my subconsciousness. Good job.



    1. Shirley,

      She said the wrong words but the more I think about it the more I feel I should change the dialogue around to make him the one who says the wrong thing. After all it’s men who often put their foot in their or at least that’s how the general public sees it.


        1. Lady,
          I think it could work either way if a few things were changed around but thank you for your comments and for stopping by.


    1. Abraham,
      Thanks! So you want to see the first one? OK….what the hell Here it is….

      The morning after a night of bad decisions they sat by the window at the White Birch Bed and Breakfast. Billy drank his cream and sugar with a little coffee. Janis ate her salt with two eggs over easy. She poked her runny eggs with buttered white toast. He added extra whip cream onto his pancakes.
      Billy spoke up “That’s a lot of salt would you like some breakfast with that”.
      “Silence would be nice” she snapped.
      “I…was just joking” he stuttered.
      Billy sipped his coffee, staring out the window, wondering why he did not slip out during the night.

      Thanks Tom

    1. I never read comments before making mine… I see the ‘bad’ one above me now… I like it. I like parts of both, the good luck thing, and I liked the breakfast description in the deleted one. I really liked the ‘slip out during’ line… been there, had those breakfasts…

    2. Ted,
      I’m glad you like the good one and see good parts in the bad one…Good bad it is so hard to tell sometimes. Just felt the first one lacked something.

      Thanks for the comments Ted.


    1. Ron,
      Thanks man….I felt like I was shooting an arrow in a crosswind without my glasses on. Nice to know I hit the mark!


  3. I agree with the earlier comments in that it should read slightly flat as that matches the atmosphere over breakfast. I also prefer the second version.

    1. Kathy,
      I am like that and so is my girlfriend. We were joking about this exact thing the other day…cynical maybe? Someone we knew got married and I turned to her and said “I don’t know if I should congratulate them. I don’t know what to say.” She looked and me and said “How about good luck”. We both laughed. Unlike this couple the both of us saw the humor in it….Thanks for stopping by and commenting.


  4. Wonder what the bad decision was? And why is she so picky about his choice of words to the wedding couple? Why is she so grumpy? I think they’ve been together too long.

    1. Lora,
      The first one was the couple getting married the night before, the second one was this couples own marriage, the third one was the comment Good Luck, the fourth one too much salt on the eggs, fifth one to much sugar in the coffee and the sixth bad decision was them staying together…take your pick. Like you said they have been together too long…Thanks for commenting and stopping by.

  5. This brings in a lot of the real discomfort that can come with a disagreement / simmering argument. I definitely think you carried off that tension better in this version than in the first. The dialogue has a very real sound to it

    1. Thanks Carol. I have been so busy lately that I have little time for the blog. Glad you liked the ending and a paragraph break would have worked there….I agree.

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